Like Sand Through the Hourglass

We left Byron Bay and headed up the coast for our 2 day tour of Fraser Island. Naturally, glorious sunshine escorted us out as we followed the rainclouds up. At 70+ km long and 20-ish km wide, Fraser Island is the largest sand island in the world, or as 10 minutes of island history summed up in one sentence, a shitload of sand. Having gotten very little sleep the night before and finding no source of caffeine that morning, I was in full "Bonnie" (bitchy Connie) mode. I had done so well throughout this trip to keep Bonnie repressed. I even allowed some gas station attendent to chat with me for 5 minutes before demanding my receipt.

So after 5 days of no sun, our first activity of the day on Fraser Island is a tour of the rainforest. All Bonnie needed that morning was to hike 2 kms in a covered cesspool of bugs and all things that could kill you. I swear, everything is a damn rainforest to Australians. They really do have a pretty loose definition of what's just a regular old bunch of trees and what's a rainforest. The place we stayed at in Byron Bay had a few palm trees, some fern froids and a gaggle of obnoxiously loud birds and they described themselves "situated among a picturesque rainforest". What's more infuriating is that on Fraser Island, half of the "rainforest" were hupine trees planted by the timber industry after they stripped the land of it's natural inabitants. I'm no botanist, but I'm pretty sure you can't man-make a rainforest.

Then Warren, our over loquacious tour guide, told us there are over 9 deadly types of snakes, and a jillion varieties of spiders of which 2 are extremely lethal in the "fauxforest". Additionally the hupine trees that were planted by the lumberjacks have a life span of 8 to 10 years before they begin falling over. Guess when the last crop of hupines were planted? I'm fine with the constant fly buzzing noise, the gross stickiness you have to step in, even the random drops of "water" that falls on your head, but when are you ever told to "watch out for falling trees" on a rainforest hike? I blew through that fauxforest so fast you would have thought I worked out. [Ali - You didn't even stop to ask for a picture of yourself!].

The afternoon on Fraser Island was must more successful because (a) they fed me and (b) I found some mildy drinkable form of coffee. We also finally made it to the beach, which again, we had to race against the tides to get across [Ali - I needed a sports bra for that jaunt!]. It is only on the beach that you really fully appreciate just how much sand had accumulated over the years to form Fraser Island and more importantly, how resilient and resourceful flora life is to be able to support rainforests (as dubious as the moniker is) on a bed of sand.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,

Connie