Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Emperor's New Whale Shark

Roatan, Honduras. I am convinced that whale sharks are the Emperor's New Clothes.  Everyone tells you they just saw one on their last dive and it was this big.  Then I rush like a bumbling fool to sign up for the afternoon dive and the only sea life I see is one tiny eel.  Been there, had that with teriyaki sauce.  I was a little disappointed with the diving in Roatan.  I think it's been hyped up too much as the premiere dive spot in the caribbean.  It was definitely cheap and the dive shop people couldn't have been nicer.  
I see Roatan being the black hole of suction for investment bankers on vacation who decide to quit their day job and live the cliche life of Tom Cruise in Cocktails.  I read that the layed-off financiers are descending on Buenos Aires to maintain their bubbly infused lifestyles with the favorable exchange rate.  I imagine the type who deem themselves "nature lovers" (i.e. rented a land rover and went camping once under the guise of loving nature when really just want to drink a ton of beer, bbq some beef and make gastral-intestinal jokes with bffs) will probably flock to places like Roatan and Panama. Currently, the mix of domestic tourists and foreign tourists is about 50/50.  I'm curious what that ratio will be a few years from now.  

Roatan is an ideal place to go to just get some rest along a sandy beach.  There are no "scenes" there, no "must try" cuisine, no "must see" ruins and definitely no discovering local life.  Really, the only thing you can do, after walking the sandy strip of Main St. is sit in a beach chair and soak up some rays.  I didn't do much snorkeling (maybe that's where all the whale sharks are) but other people tell me that's pretty fun as well.  In fact Roatan is so uneventful that I am at a loss for anything scathing, glib or perceptive to say.  Heavy is the crown.

But if you go, just remember its pronounced "roe-tawn", not "row-a-tan" and you can avoid looking like a stupid gringo like me.