Hoi An, Vietnam. Old town Hoi An is a cute riverside city and is closed off to most motorized vehicles. Unfortunately mopeds (aka chariots of death) and their horns are permitted. Not quite ready to join the Hogs of Heaven club just yet, Ali and I rented bicycles to get around town and I'm quite certain that my lungs now look like that of a 50 year old chain smoker. As god as my witness, I will never mock the surgical masks again.I try to stick to just complaining on this farce of a blog and shy away from giving actual travel advice but I have to just this once. If you are ever in Hoi An, do not buy the entrance fee to the old town unless you want to spend 75,000 dongs to repeatedly
come out asking "is that it?" You can walk the old town without having to buy a ticket. The guide books make it seem like you have to pay the entrance fee to get in but the fee is just to see 5 special "sites" in old town. Given a choice of watching a blind man thread a needle or going to these 5 sites, I'd pick the blind man. I almost missed the Japanese covered bridge completely if it wasn't for the ticket collector running after me to collect my ticket. Color me surprised to find out old town is a UNESCO world heritage site. Honestly, Russian whores are more discriminant than UNESCO.
In addition to underwhelming relics, Hoi An is home to a huge number of tailor shops who will fit and sew anything for you. Each tailor shop is just a store front with some sample designs and fabric. The actual tailoring is done in a few factories outside of town and motorbiked back in amazing turnaround time. Don't expect french seams or exquisite darting here (come on, what do you expect out of a 6 year old?) and Fashion Week ready it's not but $10 to $20 for a fake Catherine Malandrino dress made out of highly combustible nylon isn't too shabby. Also, if you are genetically asymetrical, this is your heaven because everything is made to your measurements. Tara Reid, can your lopsided boobies hear me?
come out asking "is that it?" You can walk the old town without having to buy a ticket. The guide books make it seem like you have to pay the entrance fee to get in but the fee is just to see 5 special "sites" in old town. Given a choice of watching a blind man thread a needle or going to these 5 sites, I'd pick the blind man. I almost missed the Japanese covered bridge completely if it wasn't for the ticket collector running after me to collect my ticket. Color me surprised to find out old town is a UNESCO world heritage site. Honestly, Russian whores are more discriminant than UNESCO.In addition to underwhelming relics, Hoi An is home to a huge number of tailor shops who will fit and sew anything for you. Each tailor shop is just a store front with some sample designs and fabric. The actual tailoring is done in a few factories outside of town and motorbiked back in amazing turnaround time. Don't expect french seams or exquisite darting here (come on, what do you expect out of a 6 year old?) and Fashion Week ready it's not but $10 to $20 for a fake Catherine Malandrino dress made out of highly combustible nylon isn't too shabby. Also, if you are genetically asymetrical, this is your heaven because everything is made to your measurements. Tara Reid, can your lopsided boobies hear me?
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